First, I want to thank you for taking a courageous step to ask this question. This is an issue many encounter but often fall into unhealthy ways of dealing with such intimidations. Which makes bad matters worse because those are ways that only sugarcoat or disguises the root problem. So, you facing this and wanting to get to a viable solution is a great advance for you!
Next, be encouraged to keep in mind that most times than not, you don’t have to feel obligated to make their problem, “your” problem. When you allow what they do or say to you make you feel unsure and down on yourself, you’re taking their problem onto yourself. And, that… is certainly something you can begin saying no to right now by looking in the mirror and saying to yourself: “I will not take [insert person’s/people’s names here] personal issues on myself, today!” Essentially, in doing that, you are choosing for yourself to throw away any prideful and defeating thoughts of you from others that places you as their doormat. I emphasize for yourself because this is use of one of your personal power tools, which by the way, quite a few others are available to you.
With that being said, it also may be time to evaluate, who you allow into, and to stay in, your inner circle. Relationships are inputs to your health, like food is to your body! Healthy relationships, as akin to healthy foods, nourish you, make you grow, and glow with, strength and stamina. Unhealthy relationships, similar to junk foods, make you a dumpster for garbage that was never yours to take on!
Once you decide who you want, or need (because some times these people may be a boss or co-worker), to interact with, it’ll help you to hone your communication to enable and further empower yourself to speak truth in love by calmly standing up for yourself with appropriate responses. This is not to spark an argument, but a method to set healthy boundaries on how far people can go to ensure their treatment is kept at levels that helps, and not hurt the relationship. There’s an old adage that says you have to teach people how to treat you. At times, that takes your own courage to say, for example; “Ok, that’s enough. When you can speak with me without calling me insulting names, give me a call.”
One of the reasons you, and many others, begin to wain in confidence when others strive to make you feel “less than”, is because at this time, you may not yet be anchored in who you authentically are. It’s one thing to have a comfortable idea of who you are, but it’s another to be anchored in it wherein what others say about or to you can’t shake you out of your position. Perhaps you thought you were steadfast in it, but what others are saying or doing to you has been making you doubt that’s, who you are or, what you’re capable of doing. So, if this rings true for you, this is not the time to withdraw to fret, but to find, to seek yourself, your likes and dislikes, your strengths and weaknesses, and your higher calling of duty in this world. As I say this, I also want to caution you when it comes to knowing your weaknesses. As some weaknesses are insignificant enough to keep, not wasting time and energy to change them. Others are significant enough to work on changing, if possible. Also, some things you perceive as weaknesses may not be weaknesses at all, but may seem like that, simply due to other people’s unfounded opinions.
Lastly, it’s important to forgive those who make you feel inferior. Truth is, those who feel the need to make you feel inferior to them often have insecurities of their own that browbeating you “seems”, from their perspectives, to make them feel more powerful. Like bullies in a school playground, demanding milk money from those they push around, it’s a desperate cry to regain control they’ve lost in their own lives in one or more areas, by putting you at the end of their puppeteer strings! This is not to say your forgiveness says it’s OK for them to do what they do. Truly I tell you… No! It’s not OK! But, when you forgive, and you pursue your own power, control, and confidence, in healthy ways, as you’ve chosen to navigate the high road, you’re no longer shoved beneath, but rising to the top!
I haven’t been made privy to your age. But, I want to encourage you not to feel ashamed of having to deal with these kinds of experiences, no matter the stage of life you’re currently in. One truth I mention in my book: “Blessed Beyond Imagination Grateful Grain Gratitude Journal: 14 Weeks to Double Portion Blessings!”, is that bullying doesn’t stay in the playground, but grows up to enter The boardroom, living room, and the bedroom. So, know it’s not too late, as you begin to pursue and practice some of these tips, eventually you’re bound to see your liberation from people, who are not more superior than you but merely as human as you are, as one of your greatest victories!
Love You to Life!
Coaching to Cultivate the Abundant Life on an Unshakable Foundation!